Friday, October 14, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
Something Borrowed
"I thought once, because I could not find someone who would be always be there for me, I would be there for everyone. I would single handedly make sure no one ever feels as lonely as I have felt. For a while I stood by the side of the road and wore a sign on my chest that read: “Will Always Be There.” I held hands of friends, friends of friends, strangers, offered a shoulder, and when my phone rang at midnight I picked up and I picked up and I picked up and I found out that the first time they love you, the second time they are grateful, the third time they are blasé, and the fourth time, well, there should never be a fourth time, but the fourth time they yell at you for taking so long to answer the damn phone."
Monday, April 18, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Lies to tell your dentist before oral surgery
- Did you eat or drink anything since midnight? Nope.
- Did you have someone to stay with your all day in case X/Y/Z happens? Sure.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I Survived the Ides of March (and you can too.)
Just keep an eye out for the stabbing of knives.
Overheard at work
"I heard yesterday was Steak and BJ Day"
"What's that?"
"What's what?"
"BJ"
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"Um... big jerk"
"Well, that makes no sense at all."
Monday, March 14, 2011
Happy Pi Day Jerks
In honor of your obsession with the mathematical constant whose value is the ratio of any Euclidean plane circle's circumference to its diameter, I give you this video of a girl whose parents probably should let her socialize with other children more.
The Good and Bad of Setting Your Alarm Clock Incorrectly
Good:
Wake up and say: "Now that was a refreshing sleep."
Bad:
Get to work three hours late and say: "Now that was a refreshing sleep."
Wake up and say: "Now that was a refreshing sleep."
Bad:
Get to work three hours late and say: "Now that was a refreshing sleep."
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